Donald Trump has actually nominated his White House physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson, to run the Department of Veterans Affairs.  No doubt, he believes that, if Jackson reports on the VA’s finances the same way he reported on Trump’s weight, the Department’s budget will be trimmed by 1/3 without taking any cost cutting measures.  Trump has also floated the idea of naming his personal pilot to head the Federal Aviation Administration.  Given his desire to appoint family, pals, personal staff, and Fox News personalities to important government positions, let’s take a look at how he might round out the rest of his Cabinet & top agencies in Round 2, along with his views of each individual.

Secretary of Transportation – Trump’s limo driver.  “He knows city streets, highways, bridges & tunnels.  He knows it all!  Very well qualified!”

SEC Chair – Nick Saban, head football coach at Alabama.  “NOBODY’S had more success in the SEC than Nick Saban!”

U.N. Ambassador — Eric Trump.  “Eric has done a great job building Country Clubs around the world.  When you think about it, the United Nations is just a COUNTRY Club!”

Secretary of HHS – Trump’s personal physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein a/k/a Dr. Feelgood (except when you need bone spurs). “He is EXTREMELY WELL QUALIFIED!! He said my lab tests were ‘ASTONISHINGLY EXCELLENT,’ and my physical showed ‘only positive results,’ and called my strength and stamina ‘EXTRAORDINARY.’ To clinch it all, said, ‘If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state UNEQUIVOCALLY, will be the HEALTHIEST individual EVER elected to the presidency.’  That letter couldn’t have turned out better if I admitted I’d written it MYSELF!!”

FDA Administrator – The chef at Mar-a-Lago. He makes the BEST dishes, with the BEST ingredients!! His chocolate cake is superb!!

Chief of Staff —  Steve Doocy. “He does a GREAT JOB of directing the discussion on Fox & Friends and knows how to present issues the way I LIKE to see & hear them.”

Secretary of Defense – Bill Belichick. “He’s a real Patriot!  He’s a defensive mastermind, but he is also great on offense—attacking the enemies weaknesses.  We have to be more offensive to restore respect for America around the world!  In a pinch, he would also make a great Press Secretary.  He’s a master of one-word answers, which would drive the White House press corps crazy.  And if they keep harping on the same issue he doesn’t want to discuss, he’ll just say ‘We’re on to Cincinnati’ each time!”

Homeland Security – The Security Guard in the lobby of Trump Tower.  “If he’s good enough to guard MY homeland, he can easily guard the homeland for all of us!!”

Secretary of State – Kris Kobach.  “He’s the Secretary of State for a STATE!! So he’s DOUBLY qualified!!”

Agriculture – Trump has it down to a short list:

1. Ronald McDonald. “He grows burgers, lettuce, tomatoes & fries.  And he’ll NEVER have a Pruitt housing scandal – the guy’s got houses in every town in America — he names them ALL after HIMSELF!! I LIKE that!!”

2. The King from Burger King. “The strong, silent type, and he’s an ABSOLUTE ruler.  I REALLY like those!!”

3. Wendy from Wendy’s. “I like her OLD slogan best: ‘Wendy’s Hot & Juicy!’  Reminds me of Stormy & Karen McDougal!!”

4. Colonel Sanders. “I DO like MILITARY men, even though he’s NOT a GENERAL.  And ‘Finger lickin’ good!’ ALSO reminds me of Stormy & Karen!”

Secretary of Labor – “Melania–wait, she’s only had one of my kids.

Marla Maples—I think she had one.

Ivana’s had 3, including IVANKA!!!

But then there’s Stormy . . . . This is a TOUGH one!!”