Even as he puts together his cabinet and fills other key posts in his Administration, Donald Trump is immersed in planning an Inauguration Extravaganza like no other.  Everyone thought he met with Mitt Romney to discuss important policy options and interview him for a potential position as Secretary of State, but, in fact, Trump was seeking his guidance as a former head of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics.  Specifically, Trump wanted to bounce ideas for an Official Inauguration Mascot, modeled after the Official Olympic mascot.  After that meeting, Trump made his selection, and the Supertrump mascot has even been seen practicing his salute to the new President.

As for the Inaugural Parade, Trump has decided it should be a combination of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and the Russian May Day Parade.  Workers are feverishly fabricating giant balloons of Giuliani, Gingrich, and Christie, with the biggest and best of course, being the Donald J. Trump balloon.  Officials are training the balloon handlers around the clock, to ensure that Trump does not become untethered during the parade.

In addition to the balloons, Trump’s team is designing floats that depict his exploits in vanquishing 17 other candidates during the primaries and general election, as well as forward-looking floats that feature renditions of key milestones he hopes to accomplish in his first year in office, including construction of a wall between the U.S. and Mexico.  For authenticity, the Trump Transition Team is hiring a group of Mexicans to build the wall on the float.

The second half of the parade will focus on Trump’s pledge to restock the military.  In true Soviet Style, there will be tanks and other armored vehicles, cannons, and missiles.  He’s consulting with his pal Putin on how to put on an intimidating spectacle. Trump has even asked his staff whether he can include active nuclear weapons in the parade, as a real show of force, but Kellyanne Conway is trying to talk him out of it.

Breaking with tradition even further, the reviewing stand for the parade will not be located by the White House, but rather by the new Trump Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, so that all the news footage and still shots of the stands will provide a generous amount of free publicity for the hotel.