Brutal Publicist

“President” Trump is preparing extensively for his important summit with North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un by “testing out” derogatory nicknames for potential opponents in his 202 Presidential campaign. The following are some of his favorites that he’s running past his top White House aides, Cabinet members, and random phone buddies: Kamala “Happy Hump Day!”…

On the day after Lincoln’s birthday, it’s worth considering how the statements of our current President might be different if Trump had the integrity of Honest Abe. Here’s how it might sound: To be honest, I was SHOCKED that I won the election.  All the polls had me losing, and it really was improbable, wasn’t…

Donald Trump always acts as if he suffers every disadvantage and only by dint of his extraordinary talents is he able to overcome them.  It was therefore a surprise when he recently acknowledged, and indeed, gloated about, a huge advantage he enjoys. “The reason I became a Republican instead of a Democrat is that there…

The following is a Guest Editorial by President Trump on benefits of the Government Shutdown. By Donald J. Trump America. Got to Put America First – Always!! My base HATES the Government (and so do I – isn’t that obvious in EVERYTHING I do!!) that was designed by the Founding Fathers who we REVERE for…

President Trump, like most Americans has made a series of New Year’s Resolutions.  Unlike most people, his are not the result of introspection and much thought.  Here they are: Don’t be so shy about providing advice to others—even if it’s unsolicited. I’ve got a lot of wisdom to share, and it would be SELFISH to…

The acclaim Obama received after releasing his list of 29 books he read in 2018 made Trump furious. He desperately sought a way to move the spotlight back to himself, but he was at a severe disadvantage, given that he can’t/won’t read a book.  After a week of stewing and fuming while stuck in the…

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Trump love gave to me: 12 Witches Hunting 11 Papers Lying (FAKE NEWS!) 10 Toads a-Tweeting 9 Dems Damning 8 Muellers Mulling 7 Rats a-singing 6 ships a-sinking 5 Golden Showers 4 Merkel Snubs 3 French Enemies 2 Tweedledums, and A Pardon for my Family

In between his bravura TV appearances, Rudy Giuliani has reportedly been hard at work on a hard-hitting Counter Report to the Mueller Report.  Trump says it’s 87 pages already.  In order to please his “audience of one,” however, Rudy has had to simplify the format a bit. Here’s how it’s shaping up so far:  …

As everyone knows, Donald Trump recently submitted written responses to Questions from Special Counsel Robert Mueller.  Trump and his lawyers thought they had outsmarted Mueller by agreeing only to submit written responses and, moreover, they apparently coordinated their responses with Paul Manafort, who supposedly was “cooperating” with Mueller, but in fact was cooperating with Trump….

Lost in the Thanksgiving festivities, in which Trump reluctantly admitted he was MOST THANKFUL for his own exploits, is the fact that Trump has submitted his answers to SOME of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s questions, in writing, which he did ALL BY HIMSELF, with NO ASSISTANCE from his lawyers. He only answered some questions –…

President Donald Trump has declared that the 2018 Mid-Term elections are all about him (surprise, surprise!) and he’ll stick with that claim unless his party takes a beating.  Then, of course, he’ll blame someone else.  Here is the “closing argument” Trumps making to voters to help ensure a Republican “Red Tide”: “I don’t believe in…

  “Vice” President Mike Pence declared, rather modestly, that he’d like to remind Georgia Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, Will Ferrell and Oprah Winfrey that “I’m kind of a Big Deal, Myself.” When asked to detail how, exactly, he was a Big Deal, Pence provided the following information: “I put the ‘GOOBER’ in “Gubernatorial Race’!”…