Donald Trump is in need of a new lawyer. The announcement that Rudy Giuliani’s law license has been suspended in N.Y. State just formalizes what has been the case for some time, ever since Trump treated Rudy like a contractor or construction worker and decided not to pay his bill. As others have pointed out, the role of Trump lawyer/fixer has been hazardous to the professional standing of those who have previously held it – Roy Cohn, Michael Cohen, and now Rudy.

Rumor is, Trump is sequestered in his lair, honing a list of potential replacements.  The leading candidates so far:

Kayleigh McEnany and Mike Pompeo – Little known fact: they are both actually Harvard-trained lawyers. Well known fact: they are each very well versed in lying for Trump in public – which is his top criterion.

Ted Cruz – Another Harvard Law graduate. (My how the prestige of that degree has been devalued by Trump.) Cruz has mastered the servile supplicancy that Trump demands. Also comfortable with deflection, projection, sophistry and straw man arguments, as well as challenges to the foundations of our democracy. Finally, has no qualms throwing his own children under the bus; Trump may soon be asking him for pointers.

Sydney Powell – Has been angling for months to represent Trump in promoting the Big Lie.  The only thing that held her back was some White House aides felt she was too extreme — even for Trump. Without those aides around to (somewhat) temper Trump’s worst impulses, she has a chance – and she’s anxious to get crackin’.

Lin Wood – Another Big Lie wacko. A true believer in the unbelievable. Potential downside – he likes to hold Trump style hate rallies where he is the star. Trump may not like somebody treading on his turf. (Surprisingly, neither Wood nor Powell has been disbarred – yet.)

Alan Dershowitz – no cause is too repugnant, no client is too sleazy for him. Once a star legal scholar at Harvard and a former member of O.J. Simpson’s dream team, more recently he was a defense attorney for Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein. He has been a regular Fox News talking head defender of Trump, as well as a defense attorney for Trump’s first impeachment trial, so he has fallen far enough to consider an ongoing Trump gig. Loves feigning outrage while pushing outrageous positions, so he could be a perfect fit – and he can keep his underwear on!

Tom Hagen – consigliere and fixer for Vito Corleone, the Godfather, who has been a role model for Trump. Since The Former Guy has trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy, the fact that Hagen is a fictional character will not be a significant hurdle.

Jared Kushner – despite the rumor/PR ploy that Kushner and Ivanka have been distancing themselves from the host for their parasitic lives, Jared can be counted on to do whatever Trump demands. The fact that he is not a lawyer is of no concern. Trump always appoints him to positions for which he is not qualified, and Trump sees one big advantage with Kushner: “Can’t be disbarred if you never were admitted!” 

Josh Hawley – Insurrectionist cheerleader, very comfortable with the Big Lie and other assorted Trump bombasticisms, like blaming “Antifa, BLM & Radical Leftist mobs” for everything. Educated at Yale Law School – just like insurrectionist spouse Clarence Thomas!

Hunter Biden – A dark horse, for sure, but the Trump family seems obsessed with him, he is a lawyer, and they certainly think he’s sleazy enough to work with them.