Trump fluffer Jason Miller announced Trump’s plan to launch his own social media platform, saying it will be bigger, better, and more powerful than anything that’s ever been built in the history of humanity, with tens of millions of Trump followers as participants, blah, blah, blah.

Lost in the shuffle of this grand announcement, is what, exactly, is Trump going to call his new vanity project? Trump should certainly give the following names strong consideration, as they encapsulate the man, his followers, and their approach to the world:

• Trumpster –The premium level can be called “Trumpster Fire”;
• Covfefegram — Trump can have a big reveal and prove his inner circle really did know what Covfefe meant;
• MyPillowbook – Mike Liddell said he was building a new social media platform; of course he’d be doing this in service of his lord and master Trump;
• Grifter – Succinctly captures the essence of the enterprise;
• Shift4Brains – Describes the founders and users alike;
• INCEL – Pretty much covers the entire target user market;
• Bungle – This is what the practitioners want — and expect — from Trump;
• AHole —  What Trump and his followers are — and want to be.
• ConDoor – Like Grifter, it’s revealing, and opens the way for his cult to spread their “huge” wings in a high-flying enterprise;
• MAGAphone – Shows that it is intended to amplify the voice of Trump’s base;
• Limpdik – An alternative to INCEL, plays well with Trump’s gun-toting crowd;
• IQAnon – Captures two of Trump’s favorite things — farfetched conspiracy theories and people dumb enough to believe them;
• Twittle – Combining Twitter and Little – two more of Trump’s favorite things;
• FBInsider – A warning that the Bureau will be monitoring traffic on the new platform to keep up with the latest insurrectionist plots of Trump’s white supremacist domestic terrorists; and  
• Koke — “I’m on Koke, are you?” This platform lets the Trump followers communicate with each other just like Trump and Don Jr do.

If Trump does launch a new social media platform, it would be poetic justice if Congress were to follow his year-long crusade and amend Sec. 230 to remove liability protections for internet platforms, so Trump would be liable for all the defamatory third-party content he publishes – or else he’ll have to censor users’ posts or kick them off to avoid such liability.