Republican “leaders” and their Fox News cohorts have spent the week bemoaning the fact that Congress, without Republican help, passed needed (and popular) relief for Americans as we enter Year 2 of the Coronavirus Pandemic. But what really got them upset was a decision by the Dr. Seuss Enterprises to cease publishing a handful of his more obscure books that had racist images and overtones.  They huffed and they puffed, and they clutched their pearls and fell back on their fainting couches, bemoaning “Cancel Culture” (as opposed to saluting a decision by a private entity on what to do with its property). House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy made a big deal of reading Green Eggs and Ham – which was not one of the discontinued books.  Cultural Expert Donald Trump Jr. jumped into the fray by ostentatiously holding up a copy of The Cat in the Hat (another book that continues to be published) with his son.  So Conservatives are desperate for more Dr. Seuss?? Here’s one just for them:

That Steve Scalise,

That Steve Scalise,

That sleazy, skeezy

Steve Scalise

Do you like the Blue Police?

We love police and have their backs

Except when they get in our way

Then we find that it’s OK,

To give’em smacks and whacks

On our big day, vicious attacks

You have brains in your ass,

You don’t have any class,

You can go anywhere

We doubt that you’ll pass.

Oh, the places you’ll go

And the people you’ll see

Don’t worry ‘bout them

Just worry ‘bout ME!

You’ll look up and down polls.

Look’em over with care

Follow them all –

Unless Trump says don’t go there,

With your head full of crap and your shoes full of feet,

Are you too smart to follow Trump in defeat?

He thinks you are not

He is counting on it,

He hopes you’re too dumb

And he’s made your brain numb.

To prove that you’re so patriotic

And not the least bit idiotic

While doing the bidding for the Trumps

You’re certainly not some loser chumps

(Though there are a few indicia)

You’re the Proud Boys lunatic militia!

Go to Capitol Hill

Find Senators to kill

Or maybe the VP

Or else the police.

We lost our appeal,

There’s an election to steal.

But here is the deal

We’ll say the other side

Is the one that has tried          

To commit such a steal

Who votes?

Crow votes

Must slow Jim Crow votes

Who stole Crow’s votes?

We make Jim Crow laws

To slow Jim Crow votes

One State, Two states, Red States, Blue States

Red states count, blue states don’t.

Remember as you count electors

Discard the Blue ones, Trump Inspectors!

Trumpster liar

Dumpster fire

Oh the places you’ll go

It is fun to be dumb,

There are lies to be told

So scream till you’re numb.

We do not like COVID Relief

2000 bucks — “Too Much” is our belief.

600’s quite enough, you know

Can’t give the people too much dough.

Unless they’re rich already

Then we know they’re sure and steady!

Do you like Kevin? He read your book.

Yes, I like Kevin.

He sounds like he’s seven

At most he’s eleven.

How about Ted Cruz

Is he one that you choose?

Only if you want to lose.

He likes Cancun — sounds like a dance.

A dance they do in Paris, France.

How about Hawley

He’s not jolly

In fact, he’s rather melancholy.

A sad, sad man is that Josh Hawley.

Remember when President Trump

Said the White House was a dump.

But then he didn’t want to leave.

He’s afraid that he’ll achieve

A record very dubious

The only former Prez to be indicted

He’s decided, he’s not delighted.

He’ll erupt like Mt. Vesuvius.

Why would we give cash to people?

We sell “Cancel Culture” to our sheeple

Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss,

Can you do Dan Bongino?

Dunderhead “enlightening”

Very very frightening

Me, Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson, Jeanne Pirro

Then there’s Pepe le Pew,

What did he do?

Our Pew Poll says

He should be a frog

He is French

With a stench

Put that in Hannity’s blog.

They killed Mr. Potato Head

So now we feel like we are dead

How can we go on

And on and on about it

Oh, we can, do not doubt it.

Dying on Fox

Lying on Fox,

Chicks ‘n’ bricks come

Chicks ‘n’ brick houses,

Hang out with louses,

Rudy G, Jason M & Donald T

Just don’t make that chick pea

Bleach Blonde bimbo

Look, it’s Rush Limbaugh

Used to broadcast coast to coast

Now he’s come back as a ghost.

The people you’ll see

Are sheer lunacy,

Lunatics too.

The lunatic fringe

With a bleaching syringe

Tell your story on Fox.

Filling up their “news” blocks

And viewers heads with more rocks

Lies, lies, filling the skies,

This is how democracy dies!