From the Office of One of the Former Presidents, Donald Trump breathlessly announces his next project, “Trump World – a sprawling amusement park built in Florida! It’s never been done!! Nobody’s ever done anything like it — and named it after himself!!” Trump goes on to boast that it will be the “BEST PARK EVER!” Here are some of the proposed attractions:

Fun House of Alternative Facts – Up is down, left is right, and Right is Wrong in this House of Spin – otherwise known as the White House Press Room.  Watch Sean Spicer, Sarah Sanders, and Kayleigh McEnany convince you that reality is just an illusion! If it’s too packed for you to get in, try the auxiliary location – the White House Driveway, where Kellyanne Conway, Larry Kudlow & Peter Navarro ply their trade.

Oval Office – Experience what it’s like to be President:

●     Sit in the President’s Chair in a stunning replica of the Oval Office – just like the one Trump had built for himself in Mar-a-Lago.

●     Push the hidden button on the Resolute Desk and have a Diet Coke brought (only $15 a pop)!

●     Step into the private dining area and experience the exhilaration of Fox News (the early years) OAN & Newsmax BLARING at you from 3 GIANT TV screens!             

●     Pick up the HOTLINE and watch in awe as you are “piped in” directly to Fox & Friends, who drop what they’re doing just to listen to you – no matter how much you rattle on & on!

Cabinet Meeting – You can sit around the table and, on cue, praise the Dear Leader in ever more outlandish terms.  The winner of this round gets to sit in Trump’s own Chair and pretend to be President when the next group lavishes him with high praise.

Golf Course – The most important accessory for a President – if it’s yours!! Watch the dollar counts go up, up, up, as the Secret Service pays you to protect you! Dollar totals roll in like an MDA telethon!

Hall of President. Unlike that fake inland amusement park, this Hall features the only President who matters, running through his greatest hits of perceived slights and belligerent accusations. Not an animatronic imitation, but this attraction features the Former President himself!

Scavenger Hunt – be part of the crack legal team hunting for Election Fraud – or finding just enough votes to flip Georgia!

Chinavirus – In retaliation for losing (easily) the Trump Trade War, China exported the highly contagious COVID (China) virus to the U.S. Although the rest of the world struggled terribly with this horrible disease, in the U.S., it was totally eradicated in a matter of weeks! Watch in awe as Trump’s quick action in banning some travel from China resulted in the U.S. suffering no consequences.  No masks were requiredand no precautions were necessary!! Trump deserves a Nobel Prize for Medicine for the pioneering treatments he developed (bleach & light), and for the vaccines he personally developed and delivered in record time – only to have Joe Biden intercept them and give them to illegal aliensinstead.

Patriots Storming the Capitol. Experience the thrill of marching to Congress withPresident Trump by your side the whole time (unless his bone spurs act up and he has to head straight back to the White House). Animal furs & horns extra. Don’t worry about the Capitol Police – show your patriotism by beating them with a poll holding the American Flag!! Break in and show Senators and Members of Congress who’s boss!! Grab a handful of Trump zip ties and go in search of Congressional leaders. See how many you can collect — it’s like Pokemon Live for Patriots!

Build-a-Wall — Experience the joys of actually building something!  Or at least replace something that was already there and call it “new”! Don’t worry, there’s no charge for this – Mexico’s picking up the tab!

Q Land (Special Pass Required) — Take the Q Line to this virtual (alternate) reality wonderland!  Explore the Cosmic Bowling Basement.  Hear a “Trump” Talk directly from JFK Jr. Maybe you’ll bump into true patriot Michelle Taylor Greene – just don’t get on the wrong side of her gun! Pay close attention and you may discover the True Identity of Q (SPOILER ALERT – It’s TRUMP!!)