Everybody knows Donald Trump tramples all over our governmental institutions and norms, from using the Justice Department as his personal law firm for advancing his own interests, to installing “Acting” hacks as temporary heads of Departments and agencies so as to keep them totally under his thumb, to enriching himself by having government security forces and foreign and domestic lobbyists wine, dine, sleep and use golf carts at Trump facilities.  On his way out the door, he has reduced the Presidential pardon to just another means of rewarding his cronies. Now he’s attempting to eliminate departments and agencies he hates and add new ones to satisfy his personal whims.  Here’s his current working list:

Abolish

Department of Education – “I love the poorly educated” was not hyperbole.  It is Trump’s fervent belief that keeping the masses uneducated is the key to his success – and by extension, the Republican Party’s.  He wants to abolish education – not just the Department. He regards Betsy DeVos’ tenure as Secretary as a great first step towards these goals.

Environmental Protection Agency – Trump has never seen an environmental protection provision that he can tolerate, much less appreciate.  His assertion that he wants “the cleanest water, the freshest air,” is belied by every action he has taken relating to the environment.  His exaltation of the mythical “clean coal” is just one example.

 Add

Department of Revenge – Instead of just misusing DOJ to exact revenge on his enemies, Trump now wants to add an agency whose official mission is “Making My Enemies Pay!”

Department of the Confederacy – “We have a Department of Defense and a Department of Veterans Affairs, but where is the Department that honors and cares for the true American heroes – the Confederates??”Trump has been itching to do something to stoke his redneck base and stick it to those who love America and not the Confederate traitors — and he sees this as a great opportunity to do so. The Departmental Flag will be the Stars & Bars, and each departmental facility will be named for a different Confederate General.

Department of Hotel & Resort Management – Rather than have to pretend that Ivanka gave up her ties to the Trump Organization and now works for the American people, Trump intends to install her as the first Secretary of his properties.

Trump Golf Agency (TGA) – This new agency’s mission dovetails with the Dept. of Resort Management, but there are some key differences.  This agency is focused on the logistics and finances of Trump’s golf outings, designed to maximize the time he and his entourage spend away from the office, as well as lining up prominent golfers for him to play with, from key Senators he wants to “buttonhole” (Sen. Lindsey Graham) or just lobby (Sen. Rand Paul), as well as private sector allies.

The Wall Agency – This dedicated agency will ensure that every linear foot of existing border fencing that is replaced is properly credited to the “Build the Wall” program. Funding for the agency is unclear.  There was early consideration of having it funded from international sources (“Mexico will pay for it, trust me!”), but more likely DOD will simply “donate” the necessary funds.

The Grifter Agency – This agency facilitates a grab bag of opportunities for Trump, his family and cronies that are not specifically addressed by any other department or agency. “The Grift that Keeps on Giving” is the official agency motto.

Editor’s Note: Trump’s plans may change if his attempted coup of President-Elect Biden fails.