On the twelfth day of Christmas, Trump gave the country:

12. Jeffrey Dahmer,

11. Joe McCarthy,

10. Ted Cruz’ father,

9. Roman Polanski,

8. Michael Milken,

7. Sirhan Sirhan,

6. Ghislaine Maxwell,

5. Gym Jordan,

4. John Wilkes Booth,

3. Roy Cohn,

2. Tim McVeigh

All are pardoned in a fury.