Donald J. Trump is still proclaiming that he won the election (except for a slip of the tweet on Sunday), but White House aides say he is, in fact preparing for life after the Presidency.  Here is a brief conversation he had with his son-in-law Jared Kushner that was recorded and leaked by “unknown sources”:

Trump: Everybody is always asking me what I’ll do for money.  I have lots of valuable properties!  People are dying to stay at them!

Jared: Even when you’re not President?  Do you think lobbyists will want to stay at an overpriced hotel and pay extravagant prices for mediocre meals or book and pay for rooms they never use?

Trump: Of course they will – to sample the Trump experience!

Jared: Sad to say, hearing Rudy spouting off insane conspiracy theories isn’t something most people crave – or are willing to spend money on.

Trump: And I can sell secrets!  I know secrets that you wouldn’t believe!

Jared: I know – you got me a super tippy top secret clearance too – over the objections of the professionals!

Trump: Yeah – they were afraid you would sell them!

Jared: I did.  But I also gave them away — to MBS.  He was very appreciative! Helped me refinance 666 5^th Ave.

Trump: But there’s still a strong market for them.  No President has ever sold sensitive U.S. intelligence – but those other guys were just suckers & losers!  They didn’t have the imagination or the guts to do it!

Jared: True – you are an innovator who sees a profit where others don’t – or don’t dare!

Trump: And then there’s Putin’s bounties on the U.S. troops!  I could collect on them!  Technically I wouldn’t actually kill them, but I would provide the information that would enable them to be killed.  Same end result.  I’m sure I can work something out with Mr. Putin!

Jared: That’s only fair.

Trump: Nobody’s fairer than me!