Lost in the Thanksgiving festivities, in which Trump reluctantly admitted he was MOST THANKFUL for his own exploits, is the fact that Trump has submitted his answers to SOME of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s questions, in writing, which he did ALL BY HIMSELF, with NO ASSISTANCE from his lawyers. He only answered some questions – NOT because he was stumped by the other ones, but because HE HAD TO SHOW MUELLER WHO’S THE BOSS!! However, Mueller appears always to be a step ahead of Trump. Even though he submitted WRITTEN questions, Mueller seemed to anticipate perfectly how Trump would respond. Here is a sneak peak at Trump’s answer sheet:
Q: How many children do you have?
A: PERJURY TRAP!! I DON’T KNOW!!
Q: OK, then, how many have you had with your wives?
A: 3!
Q: What about Tiffany?
A: TRICK QUESTION!! She’s only a STEPchild!!
Q: Are you SURE?
A: YES – THAT’S what Melania & Ivanka BOTH say, and they NEVER AGREE on ANYTHING!!
Q: And Barron?
A; Yes, Melania is BARREN. That’s why I don’t have ANY KIDS with her!
Q: No, Barron is the name of your child with Melania.
A: He DOESN’T COUNT. HE isn’t 21 yet!!
Q: So you are saying that life begins at age 21?
A: Absolutely!
Q: Do your “Evangelical Christian” Pastor Supporters know you DON’T believe fetuses are PEOPLE – and therefore there’s NOTHING wrong with ABORTION?
A: No, they’re too stupid to figure it out. But they DO believe in abortion for Republicans’ mistresses in any event!
Q: The Emoluments Clause of the Constitution refers to:
- Skin care products; or
- Prohibiting a President from receiving money from foreign sources?
A: Haha – I got this!! “(a)”! What you fail to realize is I’ve got TWO women with skin care lines–Melania and Ivanka!!
Q: How many languages does Melania speak fluently?
A: 5.
Q: What are they?
A: Slovenian, Slovakian, Latvian, Estonian & Russian.
Q: Not English?
A: Are you KIDDING? Have you HEARD her TRY to speak ENGLISH??
Q: How much help did Putin and his team of Russians spies, hackers, trolls, & bots provide to you in the 2016 Presidential Election?
A: NONE!! I did it ALL BY MYSELF!!
Q: You realize that we’ve flipped your Campaign Manager & Deputy Campaign Manager and are putting the arm on some of your Russian co-conspirators, right?
A: Doesn’t MATTER!! ALL my friends in business have either FLIPPED or HAD someone FLIP on THEM! You & your team of ANGRY DEMS are just ANGRY & SHOUTING ALL the TIME at WITNESSES!! UNFAIR!! YOU’RE DOING IT NOW!!
Q: You realize these are WRITTEN questions, don’t you?
A: I DON’T CARE!!
Q: What kompromat or compromising information does Putin have on you?
A: TRICK QUESTION!! PERJURY TRAP!! Which is it, kompromat or compromising information? Don’t try to CONFUSE me!!
Q: It’s the same thing.
A: They’ve got NOTHING on me – just like you!! You’d have INDICTED me already IF YOU HAD ANYTHING!!
Q: We want to make sure we have ALL THE EVIDENCE before we make ACCUSATIONS!
A: THAT’S NO FUN!! Why wait? I accuse people ALL THE TIME, when I have NO EVIDENCE!! EVEN when I KNOW there’s NO EVIDENCE!!
Q: Well, we believe in the Rule of Law.
A: I DON’T!! EVERYTHING I’ve done regarding your investigation, the FBI, DOJ, Congress & the Courts is DESIGNED to UNDERMINE the Rule of Law!!
Q; Firing Comey?
A: Yep!
Q: Canning Sessions?
A: Of COURSE!!
Q: Appointing Whitaker?
A: Naturally – the guy’s got NO QUALIFICATIONS, except he’ll do WHATEVER I SAY!!
Q: Nominating Kavanaugh and fighting SO HARD to PUSH him THROUGH the Senate?
A: Yes – I could have found a hundred judges who would vote conservatively, but he’s the ONLY ONE who says the President is UNTOUCHABLE!!
Q: OK, I think we’ve got all we need there. Let’s switch gears. If the U.S. has a revenue stream of Ten Trillion Dollars over a number of years, and you cut $1.5 Trillion out of that revenue stream, will the deficit and national debt go up or down?
A; DOWN – these tax cuts pay for themselves.
Q: How?
A: It’s MAGIC!!
Q: If the U.S. sells more goods and services to Canada than Canada sells to the U.S., does the U.S. have a trade DEFICIT with Canada?
A: DOESN’T MATTER. Trudeau is the ENEMY!!
Q: And Putin, Kim Jong Un and the Mad Prince of Saudi Arabia are NOT??
A: RIGHT!! GLAD you see it MY WAY!!
Q: If the U.S. pays $15 Billion to build The Wall, and Mexico pays $0, who paid for The Wall?
A: MEXICO – THEY JUST DON’T KNOW IT YET!!
Q: How much money have you received from the Russians and Saudis?
A: NONE—I have NO BUSINESS dealings with them! I do A LOT of Business with them, and I LIKE THEM, like Kavanaugh LIKES BEER!! They’re VERY good to me! Sometimes they give me money and it’s NOT EVEN part of a business deal!
Q: If a Russian Mobster or Saudi Prince pays 3 TIMES fair market value for a Trump Condo, is that a bribe or a payoff?
A: TRICK QUESTION – it’s BOTH!!
Q: If a Caravan is traveling 20 miles per day and is 1500 miles from the U.S. Border, how long will it take to reach the Border?
A: 3 DAYS – CALL OUT THE ARMY!! PROTECT BORDER UNTIL ELECTION DAY!!
Q: Do you intend to repeal and replace Obamacare?
A: OBAMACARE is a DISASTER!! WE’LL PROTECT People with PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS!! Gotta do that!!
Q: Isn’t protection of people with pre-existing conditions the fundamental principle of Obamacare?
A: We’ll do it BETTER and WITHOUT the DISASTER part!
Q: How?
A: By SAYING we PROTECTED people, without ACTUALLY DOING IT! JUST LIKE our “Middle Class Tax Cut”!!
Q: Can you compare and contrast the Climates of Finland and California?
A: No. I don’t know ANYTHING about CLIMATE. It’s ALL FAKE!! BELIEVE ME, if there’s ONE THING I know, it’s a FAKE!!
Q: Yes, I think I’m becoming very familiar with fakes myself. I think we’ve got all we need.
Brutal Publicist 