Word has leaked that Special Counsel Robert Mueller is wrapping up his investigation into conspiracy and obstruction by Donald Trump and his campaign. The final step appears to be the receipt of written answers from Trump to 15 questions submitted by the Mueller team.  No one outside the investigation and the White House has seen those questions (which actually number 18), until now:

• What is that on top of your head?
• How much do you weigh?
• Have you ever had sexual fantasies involving Ivanka? Have you ever realized those fantasies?
• What does Putin have on you? What do you and Putin have on Lindsey Graham? What does Lindsey Graham have on Pence?
• What specific evidence, if any, do you have to demonstrate that you are a “very high I.Q.” person?
• What is your deal with Kavanaugh?
• How much money have you made from foreign and domestic interests since your election? Where is that money?
• How much have you actually given to charity in the past 10 years?
• Who is really going to destroy Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security, Democrats or Republicans?
• Do you even know when and why you’re lying?
• Why do you accuse your opponents of the exact sins/crimes you have committed yourself? Do you want to get caught? Is that a cry for help?
• What are the Beatitudes?
• Are you embarrassed by Don Jr.? You once told your wife Ivana not to name your son after you, in case he turned out to be a loser.  Do you fear you may have been right?  Do you think that’s why your father Fred named you Donald?
• Were you utterly humiliated when you boarded Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to your shoe and you realized it must have been there for over an hour and no one told you about it?
• Have you ever sexually assaulted a woman?
• What did you and Putin discuss in Helsinki?
• Does it look like Toad?
• If you’re as macho/tough as you claim, why, when you speak, do you gesticulate as flamboyantly as Jack McFarland on Will & Grace?