Brett Kavanaugh has promised to be a good colleague, and engage in collegial, non-partisan discussions with his fellow Justices on the Supreme Court as they discuss and debate the cases before them. He also claims he’s not going to upset centuries of tradition & decorum at the Court, but word is that Chief Justice John Roberts has made at least one special accommodation for the newest Justice. He’s hiring beer vendors to pace the aisles in the gallery during Oral Arguments yelling “BEEYEH HEEYEH!! GET yer ICE COLD BEER!!” Here’s how his first day on the Court is expected to go:

Clarence Thomas: “Brett, I want to be the FIRST to WELCOME YOU to the Court!! It’s been lonely up here, being the only Justice who harassed women so openly.  It’s nice to to have a fellow predator—and Yalie—on the Court!”

Kavanaugh: “Thanks, Clarence. It’s nice to be here.  You’ve been such an INSPIRATION and a ROLE MODEL for me for a LONG TIME!!”

Thomas: “And you’ve taken a little of the HEAT off of me, too.  Now I’m NOT the Justice with the smallest confirmation margin!  My advice, coming into the Court under these circumstances is to keep your head down. Don’t make waves, and don’t talk too much until you get your feet wet. Oh, it looks like the case is starting.”

Lawyer: “Chief Justice Roberts, Associate Justices, and may it please the Court—”

Kavanaugh: “Do you like BEER?”

Lawyer: “Excuse me, Justice Kavanaugh?”

Kavanaugh: “YOU HEARD ME—DO YOU LIKE BEER? Brewskis, Skis, Suds, Buds. DO YOU LIKE BEER–Yes or NO?”

Lawyer: “Well . . .”

Kavanaugh: “Well, I LIKE BEER.  A LOT!!”

Lawyer: “But my client suffered diminished capacity due to excessive alcohol consumption so he couldn’t possibly have formed the necessary mens rea—”

Kavanaugh: “Do YOU ever DRINK TOO MUCH?”

Lawyer: “I don’t think so—”

Kavanaugh: “Oh—so you drink so much you BLACK OUT and CAN’T REMEMBER?”

Lawyer: I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.

Kavanaugh: It doesn’t matter what YOU think – or the Clintons or OTHER LIBERAL DEMS. I’M HERE & I’M IN CHARGE—GET USED TO IT!!