President Donald Trump and his crack legal team, led by noted lawyer and strategist Rudy Giuliani, has been playing coy about whether the President will or won’t sit down for an interview with the Special Counsel.  Team Trump seems to be dangling the possibility that he will (and he says he “really wants to!”) while at the same time attempting to impose pre-conditions they think Mueller cannot or will not agree to.  Here’s how it might play out if they actually did meet.

Mueller: Please state your name for the record.

Trump: Why should I have to do that?  Witch Hunt!

Giuliani: Perjury Trap!  That’s not even a question! I instruct the witness not to answer!

Mueller: Are you saying the witness cannot even be trusted to state his own name correctly?

Giuliani: That’s NOT what I’m saying!

Trump: Donald J. Trump.

Mueller: Senior or Junior?

Trump:  Are you SERIOUS??!! You actually think I might be that idiot Don Jr.???

Mueller: Senior it is, then.

Trump: Just don’t call me DJ!

Mueller: OK. What is your occupation?

Trump: The White House.  But what a dump!  My Trump Tower penthouse is MUCH more luxurious!!

Mueller: Excuse me?

Trump: You asked what I occupy – I occupy the White House!

Mueller: No, what do you do?  What is your job?

Trump: I watch TV mostly.  I also play a LOT of golf.  You should come out and play sometime at my Trump National across the river in Virginia – oh, wait a minute, that’s right – you USED to be a MEMBER, before you got into a VERY NASTY BUSINESS Dispute with me over fees.  That’s why you’re ONE ANGRY DEMOCRAT!

Mueller: Actually I’m a Republican.

Trump: BUT YOU’RE VERY ANGRY!!  I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO ANGRY!! YOU ARE BIASED & CONFLICTED AND YOU’RE LEADING A RIGGED WITCH HUNT AGAINST ME, TRYING TO CREATE A FEVER PITCH OF HYSTERIA AROUND THE COUNTRY!! IT’S UNFAIR!! YOU CALL YOURSELF A PROSECUTOR, BUT YOU’RE REALLY A PERSECUTOR, PICKING ON NICE PEOPLE LIKE MANAFORT AND ME!! THEY SOULD CALL YOU THE “SPECIAL PERSECUTOR”!!

Mueller (smiling):  OK, I think we’re ready to get into the substantive questions now.