The press reports that President Trump plans to meet one-on-one with Vladimir Putin at the beginning of their upcoming summit in Helsinki, Finland.  The smart money says this is so Putin can conduct Trump’s performance review in private.  Here’s how it might go.

Putin: Let’s review your performance in achieving our mutual goals.

Trump: Yessir, Boss!

P: Sow discord among NATO/G-7?

T: Doing it daily!

P: Set U.S. economy on perilous course?

T: Well underway!

P: Enrich our personal coffers?

T: Amazing!

P: Excellent work, Donald!

T: I’ve got to ask you something, boss. Did you interfere in our sacred election process?

P: Yes.

T: And that HELPED me get elected?

P: Of course. How else do you think that happened?

T: Well, I told the press I’d tell you to stop it & never do it again.

P: I heard you say it, just now.

T: So we’re good?

P: Absolutely.

T: What’s my final grade, boss? I give me an 11 out of 10. A++!

P: You’ve done FAR better than I ever could have imagined, Donald. Tearing NATO & G-7 apart (NICE touch saying Russia should get back in! Maybe you could suggest that NATO invite us to join!) Undermining your economy. But you’re so tough on me, I might have preferred Clinton . . .

T: I KNEW it!

P: Haha—just KIDDING. NEVER Clinton!! She’s a NASTY WOMAN!

T: True. But what about the DEEP STATE in U.S. agencies trying to UNDERCUT me?

P: A figment of your imagination.

T: Really?

P: Yes, but don’t POUT, Donald. It’s MUCH BETTER to be PARANOID than COMPLACENT! Complacency can get you KILLED!  NEVER forget that!