A lot of people were skeptical I could get a major deal done – on an often-difficult issue, but I’m proud, VERY PROUD, to announce tonight that I have concluded a MAJOR, major deal.

I’d like to draw your attention to the First Lady’s box up in the gallery.  Melania couldn’t be here tonight, but I am very pleased to introduce Stormy Daniels, Ladies & Gentlemen!  AND – this is huge — she waived half of her usual $130 thousand appearance fee, so she ONLY charged me – or I should say US, since the U.S. taxpayers are footing the bill — $65 thou! Isn’t that AMAZING?

Next to Stormy is my daughter, Ivanka, filling in for the First Lady, as she has done so many, many times.  We all owe her a debt of gratitude for that.  Don’t they look GREAT together? Almost like SISTERS!  How’d you like to get a little of THAT double action??  Don’t be so envious. It shows. I can see it on your faces, Mitch McConnell & Paul Ryan.  Don’t you wish you were me?

I am such a great negotiator, the pricetag for The Wall has skyrocketed from $8 Billion to $25 Billion!  Dems are upset, and the Mexicans think they’re getting away with something, but they’re not.  The joke’s on THEM, folks!! The cost keeps going up, and that just means they’ll have to pay more.  Eventually.  Eventually.  You can count on it.  But in the meantime, I need Congress to fund more and more costs for The Wall NOW! If you don’t do it, I’ll shut down the government again!! OUR government, NOT Mexico’s.  They’re paying for it later, but YOU have GOT to PAY for it NOW!!