In the debate over whether Conservative Christians should support an accused child molester over an honorable Democrat in the Alabama Senate race, a group of Conservative Evangelical ministers has taken flack for saying that it is acceptable–or even imperative–for Christians to support the pervert.  In response, the pastors have doubled down, by giving their support to Trump’s “improvement” of the Beatitudes of Jesus, which he has dubbed The T-Attitudes of Trump.

Blessed are the poor, for if they’re white, they’ll think I actually care about them , which makes it easier for me to line my own pockets and those of the super rich.

Blessed are the pure of heart, for we can move on them like a bitch.

Blessed are the rich, for they shall inherit millions without paying any estate tax.

Blessed are the meek, for we can take advantage of them.

Blessed are the merciless, for they shall succeed in business and politics.

Blessed are the perverts, for they shall help us retain a majority in the Senate.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for power and money, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because they are rich and powerful, for we shall restore their rightful place atop society.