Donald Trump began keeping a diary on his Mideast trip when he got to Israel (or “got back from the Middle East,” as he put it).  He thought this would be a good thing to do to help in writing his memoirs, and also since the intelligence agency heads all seem to keep diaries.

I always wondered how the jews kept those little skullcaps in place — good thing I had a couple extra bobby pins holding the back of my hair in place.

Went to Wailing Wall today.  I knew the jews always like to whine and complain, but to have such a public place for it??!!  SAD!!  Can’t they just tweet about their complaints?

At the Wall, I had to stick my hand in a crack and leave a little something.  Felt a little dirty.  I liked it!!

I am SO GLAD Ivanka hooked me up with that new Clairol Oval Office hair color.  It blended in with the wall just as nicely as the Oval Office wallpaper.  VERY PRESIDENTIAL!!!

Asked Bibi to please give Jared asylum until this whole “person of interest” thing blows over.  He said let’s see how the rest of the trip goes.  Shrewd negotiator!!  The jews always are.

Tomorrow going to Yad Vashem, the Holocaust shrine to 6 million jews killed in World War II. SAD!!

I hope our hosts know where it is — Bannon says he can’t find it anywhere on the map.

Ivanka says I shouldn’t pronounce it How Low Cost — but it’s easier to remember that way.  The jews are such good bargainers/dealmakers.

Bibi asked me how come I think I can broker an Israeli-Palestinian agreement when so many others have failed.  I told him it’s easy — I have both jews and jew-haters in my inner circle. If I can get Jared and Bannon to agree on a deal, it should be no problem selling it to the Israelis and Palestinians!!