“My Way – Special for the Trump Inaugural”

For the first dance at the official Inaugural Ball, celebrating America First!, President Elect Trump booked a Canadian singer-songwriter. He’s the crooner whose name looks like Ivanka — Paul Anka, who penned the iconic song, My Way, best remembered in classic performances by Sinatra and Elvis.  He was hard at work, even  writing special lyrics for Trump, but Anka just pulled out, shortly after he completed the revisions.  Here are the words to the version he will not sing:

And now, the end is near
The Nation’s fate is surely troubled
But I have gotten rich
And my chins have more than doubled
I’ve lived a life that’s full of sh!t
I traveled to each important district
And more, much more than this, my mind is way sick

Regrets, I’ve had too few
But then again, I’ve got dementia
I paid so little tax and maximized all my exemptions
My news, I get from Drudge, and I can hold a massive grudge
And more, vindictively, I do it my way

Yes, there are times, there’s no disputin’
I’m a lapdog for Vladi Putin

Much to my surprise, the press I despise

Just ate up all, my spit out lies
I’m a con man, and Kellyanne, she is my Conway!

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and whined
I’ve had my fill, of all those losers
And now, as tears subside, I hang with all the sex abusers
To think I’ll build a wall
To pay I didn’t say, oh not at all
Oh no, THEY, not me, will pay, they’ll pay in pesos

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not so much, just grab her twat
To say the things that fool the fools and then you get to make the rules
The record shows that hooker blows and did a wee wee

[instrumental]

Yes, it was My Way!