The Trump Transition has been hard at work rewarding supporters and contributors with Cabinet positions and plotting ways to screw their enemies.  In the spirit of Christmas, Trump put together a Naughty and Nice List, to ensure that they don’t get the two mixed up. Here’s a peek:

Mitt Romney – Naughty.  Mitt was a very naughty boy during the campaign.  That’s why I tantalized him with the Secretary of State position and strung it out so long before giving it to that Exxon guy.  And I sure brought Mitt to heel at that famous dinner at my steakhouse, didn’t I?.  Did you see that look on his face?  Like a dog that got caught chewing on his master’s shoes!  Poor Mutt Romney!!  Meanwhile, I looked like the cat that ate the canary.  Revenge is best served well done!

Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon – NICE!! I may be the only person in America who thinks these two are nice, but you help me, I’ll help you.  So I’ve rewarded both of them with top level White House positions.  After all, you say nice things about me, and I’ll say nice things about you.  Speaking of which . . .

Vladimir Putin NICE!! – I’ve heard the rumors and the skeptics, but he’s always said nice things about me, so he is nice — very nice! Plus, he believed in me when very few leaders did (even in my own party — which is Republican by the way, at least for the moment).  And he did his best to help sway the election my way.  That’s VERY NICE!!

Jason Miller- Nice. I mean, he can obviously do the nasty, with two different women in the same timespan, but that is NICE!  Very nice! I’m very proud of him. “John Miller” and Jason Miller are cut from the same cloth — both are very talented PR guys with a real talent for the ladies!

Hillary Clinton – 50/50.  I, of course, called her Nasty during the campaign (along with Crooked Hillary!).  Got a lot of flack for it — but I had no choice. I had no choice —  “Deplorable” was already taken.  Turns out though, she’s actually very nice.  I knew her before the presidential campaign, donated to her earlier campaigns and foundation — which does very good work, by the way — said glowing things about her, and even invited her to my third wedding.  I said a lot of things during the campaign that I didn’t really mean (as my supporters are just starting to find out!).  So she’s a mixed bag.

Next year, my list will be much more extensive.  With the NSA at my command, I will really know who’s naughty and who’s nice!