With the election slipping from his grasp, Donald Trump is turning his attention to his new enterprise–the Trump News Network (TNN).  He has already lined up an impressive array of talent, spanning the political spectrum from Far Right to Alt Right.  Here is the tentative lineup so far.

The Rush Hour —  Rush Limbaugh delivers Road Rage every morning and evening during Drive Times.  Specialties: conspiracies, wacky theories, and right-wing bloviations galore.

Ins Hannity — high-pitched, high-energy, righteously indignant sycophant for Trump, Sean Hannity perpetuates the “We was robbed” rigged election claim for 4 more years.  If Hannity was for Trump, he couldn’t lose — unless it was rigged!

Schilling Part 1 – Sportz with a Twizt — Curt Schilling, former Big League (or is that “bigly”)  baseball player, now way, way out in left field — make that RIGHT FIELD, with his own “take” on political topics.  May feature guest appearances from his “gorgeous” boys.

Shilling Part 2 – Ivanka/Melania Trump Home Shopping Network — their clothing/accessory lines having taking a beating as Trump tarnished the brand during his run for the presidency, the Trump women sell their wares to the adoring faithful.  Given the target demographic for the network, their products are retooled from the luxury lifestyle they formerly promoted to clothes and trinkets more suited to the Wal*Mart crowd: Yoga pants, tent shirts, sneakers, gold and silver plated jewelry.

Gingrich — A highly intellectual show, featuring the “I of Newt” himself, explaining how he as a better way of doing everything than anybody else.

Guiliani Rant Sick — Though the title plays off the immensely popular Giuliana Rancic, of E! Network, this is no fun celebrity gossip show.  Instead, Rudy Giuliani will pick a subject to rant about each night.  Topics are selected randomly, and he promises to be in full, sputtering high dudgeon each night, whether or not he know anything about the subject at hand!

Christie – The Enforcer — In each episode, former prosecutor and governor Chris Christie will pick a person to wreak the wrath of Trump upon.  Sins worthy of retribution may be public statements of non-support, refusal to campaign with Trump, or any signs of personal honesty, integrity, or self-esteem.  First up, Paul Ryan!

TRUMP — The man himself, taking the 10 PM and 3 AM slots. 10 PM is devoted speeches and off the cuff ramblings that so enthralled the crowds at his campaign rallies.  3 AM is more like an oral Tweetstorm, on whatever topic comes to mind — usually who has pissed him off that day.  TNN is on 24/7 mainly because the CEO can’t sleep and needs something to amuse himself!