Recent articles have wondered whether Donald Trump even wants to be president, or if he is running his campaign to further some other business interest.  Speculation is high that the hiring of Brieitbart CEO Steve Bannon as head of the campaign and Roger Ailes as a consultant reflects Trump’s intent to start his own right-wing news network.  That is certainly a possibility.  Perhaps he fancies himself another Ted Turner, who, unfortunately for Trump , already took the moniker TNT for one of his networks (along with the vaunted CNN).  Putting aside the obvious, and already discussed, options, such as carnival barker and WWE heel, here are some other possibilities that Trump is seriously considering:

Talk Show Host –  Trump likes nothing more than to hear himself speak.  Having his own talk show could feed this inner craving.  No doubt he would be good at the monologue –entertaining, timely, provocative.  Far less certain is whether he could actually subordinate his ego and listen to guests he is “interviewing.”

Weekend Political Show Host – This one may be more to Trump’s liking.  With the recent death of John “McLaughlin Group” McLaughlin, there is a void in the political analysis/screaming head sphere.  Instead of having to cater to his guests, Trump can cut them off, berate them, tell them they’re wrong, and call them losers.  He may be the perfect heir to McLaughlin.  “Under Obama, jobs are up, unemployment down, the Dow and S&P 500 are up — is the country headed in the right direction?  David Axelgrease!” “Well, you have to admit that things are much better than under his Republican predecessor.”  “Wrong!  Loser!  We’re going to hell in a hand basket and just don’t know it, except for my skinhead supporters!”

Car Impresario/Salesman – Of course, Trump would not simply be a car salesman (“And this one here’s a real beauty — elegant, powerful — just like me — you’ll love it.”)  No, he’ll own the dealerships that span the country and become a national version of Cal “I’ll stand on my head till my face turns red” Worthington, the legendary Czar of Cars in Southern California.  Now, will Trump borrow Cal’s shtick (“I’ll turn orange until you cringe.” “I’m here with my pet elephant, Chris Christie.”)?  Or will he come up with his own schlocky sayings?  It’s unclear, but, either way, he has the potential to be just as entertaining.  Will he sell only red cars, not blue?  Only white, not brown, yellow, or black? Everyone will want to tune in to his commercials.

STrumpets — high-end escort service.   “Now everyone can have a hot Eastern European babe.  You all want one.  You know you do.  I know it.  That sultry accent . . . That air of mystery. . . . Is she a former Soviet bloc spy or just a working girl?  Only the most beautiful and charming make the grade.”

Celebrity Clothing Salesman/Men’s Makeover Show Host – We know he loves reality shows and he loves making money from clothes.  “This gorgeous Trump Tie will be the perfect accent for you.  It is make out of real silk, and was made in China, of course.  The Chinese really know how to work with that fabric.  It is so stunning, absolutely stunning.  And this lightweight, wool Trump suit is made in Vietnam.  The Vietnamese are real winners.  Pound for pound, one of the best fighting forces in the world, low tech division.  I’m proud to work with them.  I’ve even gotten into some real estate ventures in Vietnam.  I’m building a hotel in the capital for Hilton.  Put John McCain in one of my Vietnamese suites, and even he will look like a winner.  And you will too, with this suit and tie, and this sensational shirt.”

Comedy School/Club  “Don Rickles may have founded the genre of insult comedy, but I have perfected it and expanded it to other endeavors.  Learn how to come up with memorable, insulting nicknames for members of your audience or your fellow comedians.  Comedians hate political correctness, and so do I.  We show you have to make fun of blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, the disabled, and anyone else who is a bit different.  Then we give you a venue to try out your act — The Trump Comedy Cavalcade!  We’ll even supply an audience full of people to insult, and real American patriots from my old rallies to laugh at your jokes!”

Game Show Host – Trump is amusing when he is ad-libbing, reacting to unexpected situations that come up.   He would also be a natural at insulting contestants who say something stupid.  Of course, he may not want to compete with the legacy of the legendary Merv Griffin, the TV talk show host, who dabbled in real estate and struck a surprising deal with Trump on the Resorts International hotels/casinos in Atlantic City and the Bahamas, and, in his spare time, created two of the most successful game shows in history, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  Perhaps Trump’s show could be a play off the latter, called We Love Money.  Unlike other game shows, this one would be unconstrained by facts.

               Trump: Oscar de la Hoya — American or American?

Contestant: Mexican

Trump: Actually, he’s American.  But do you believe he’s Mexican?

Contestant: Yes I do.

Trump: Then that’s good enough, and you get the points!

Trump Hair Care Mogul/Spokesmodel –  “Thinning hair?  Need to restore it to its former glory?  Then need the proper shampoos/conditioners/gels/sprays/lubes to take care of it?  You too can have a magnificent, natural-looking mane like this.  Try Trump Follicles Hair Restoration and Hair Care Products.”

University President.  No, not the defunct Trump “University.”  A real university. There is a history here — Woodrow Wilson at Princeton, Dwight Eisenhower at Columbia.  Trump could follow in this grand tradition and either join or found a true university.  No doubt, it would even be better than an Ivy League School.  “Ivy is too bland, all green.  This university will be in the Azalea League — much more beautiful and impressive.  Let a thousand flowers bloom!”  It will also not be narrowly focused on one subject as the old Trump “University” was.  Instead, “We’ll offer degrees in everything — we’ll have more degrees than a thermometer — hot school, hot babes, and by the way, I mean a Fahrenheit thermometer, not one of those foreign centigrade/celsius ones.  It will be excelsis!  And have you seen our brand new state-of-the-art Trump University Research Department?”

“We’ll have the best professors, hand-picked by me.  I surround myself with the best people.  They’re super bright.  I’ll put the ‘jew’ in ‘education,’ especially in the medical and law schools, and media and accounting. I love the jews, and they love me — or at least my money!  Math & Engineering will, of course, be staffed by the Chinese and the Indians.  They’re the best — hands down, the best.  But we’ll make sure they speak impeccable English, so you can understand them.  And we are not going to be an ivory tower institution.  We will give you practical training, so you can find a job, not a hijab.”

Build-a-Brand Foundation “No one knows how to build their brand like me.  I can help you do the same.  BYOB — Build Your Own Brand.  Make sure that everything you do, every conversation you have, every act you take, is about building your brand.  Serve on the school board–build your brand.  Coach your kid’s little league or soccer team–build your brand.  Run for office–build your brand.  Serve on a church committee–build your brand.  Nothing is random or accidental.  Every step is calculated, but I will engrain this in you so that it is second nature, and you don’t even have to think about it.”