Many people are saying that Donald Trump’s unsubstantiated accusations that “Crooked Hillary and the Dems” have sought to rig the presidential debate schedule so as to get low ratings are just laying the groundwork for Trump to refuse to debate Clinton.

People inside the Trump campaign – many people – are telling me, however, that Trump’s real endgame is to change the structure of the traditional debate into a competition that will be more gripping, and ultimately garner higher ratings.  Seeing America enthralled once again by the spectacle of obscure sports that the Olympic juggernaut has somehow turned into a kingpin in the ratings – and ever on the lookout for a new reality show that help recapture his fallen Nielsen glory – Trump envisions the new format as something akin to mental Olympics, with events designed to showcase skills needed for a successful candidate and, indeed, a successful president.  Not coincidentally, Trump believes these are events that he can excel in.

He also thinks that the process of establishing the framework of the shows will allow him to showcase his legendary negotiating skills.  And, unlike most Americans, Trump would be very happy to put his fate in the hands of the Eastern European judges; he believe he’ll get a “10” every time. Strangely, Clinton seems amenable to switching it up.  The two sides have had preliminary discussions, and have already agreed on a host who can evoke the Olympics – Ellen “Rio” Degeneres.  Here is a tentative list of events they are considering:

Hyperbole

Trump’s whole team specializes in this field. For instance, his doctor, who did not release Trump’s medical records,nonetheless assured us that if Trump were elected, he would be the Healthiest U.S. President Ever.  Not just that he was in good, or even superb health, but the best ever.  This is an odd statement to make about a doughy Trumpa Lumpa (they do have orange skin!).   In fact, it is literally unbelievable.  The last time such an over the top statement was made about the health of a 70-year old president – after Reagan was shot, and his aides said he was recovering like man 20 years younger and doctors had never seen anything like it –  he was, in fact very near death.  Nonetheless, there is some evidence that Trump has Wolverine-like self-healing powers.  As he modestly puts it;

“A lot of people have said that I should be nominated for sainthood. Certainly that’s not likely with this pope, since he is in the pocket of the Mexicans, but if I were nominated for sainthood, I already have the necessary two miracles.  First, when I needed to avoid the draft, I suddenly developed bone spurs that kept me out of Vietnam.  Then, as soon as I got my medical deferment, they miraculously healed and never gave him a problem since!”

Trump is also responsible for the following over-the-top boasts: “I alone can fix the system,” and “I will be  the greatest jobs president God ever created!”  The latter is particularly impressive.  It was not sufficient for him to say that he would be the best president ever, in terms of job-creation.  He also had to tie God into it, implying either that God ordained him to create jobs, or other presidents were not created by God.

Just How Stupid Do You Think The American Public Is?

There is an adage among campaign operatives that if you have to explain your arguments/points/statements, you’ve already lost.  This is a concept that Trump, Clinton, and their teams apparently have not grasped.

Trump seems to believe he can win this contest in a cakewalk.  For all his reputation as a blunt, plain spoken man, Trump seems utterly incapable of making any simple, declarative statement that he stays with (aside from his exceedingly clever, and not at all childish, nicknames for his rivals).  Virtually every day, it seems, Trump and his minions and his sycophants in the press are forced to explain that he did not say what everyone heard him say (which was recorded to boot!), or that the “media” has distorted his remarks (notwithstanding the fact that actual recordings have been replayed over and over again), or that there can “only be one meaning” ascribed to his remarks (and it is not the one that non-Trump hacks universally understood), or he was only kidding, and only a moron would fail to see that (an approach that alienates both friend and foe alike, as his supporters assumed he was serious and they approved of his remarks).

Notwithstanding the remarkably consistent, persistent, and never-ending skill Trump displays in this area, Clinton still has a chance to take this event.  Despite having years to prepare a coherent explanation as to why she did not use the State Department server for her emails, she has utterly failed to provide any plausible explanation for doing so.  Lost in the intricacies of how many, if any, emails on her private server were classified at the time they were sent or received, and whether she should or should not be charged with any criminal violations, is the simple fact that none of her “explanations” make any sense, and the absolute failure of Clinton and her team to devise any semblance of a reasonable explanation, given their PR/media savvy, is simply astonishing.

Synchronized Hand Gestures

Trump is the clear favorite in this event.  Clinton, to be charitable, looks like she should be playing the lead in “I, Robot” when she tries to inject some “dynamic” movement into her speeches.  Trump, on the other hand, has somehow convinced people that he will be tough on crime and tough on terrorism, notwithstanding the fact that when he is “talking tough,” he is simultaneously making flamboyant, effeminate hand gestures like an interior designer in the midst of a hissy fit over your outrageous comment that, yes, a puce comforter and chartreuse drapes would, indeed, look good in the master bedroom.

Talking the Politically Correct Talk – Most observers would give Clinton a significant edge in this competition. She knows and uses the “correct” terminology and catchphrases in  referring to women, racial and ethnic minorities, religious sects, and the LGBTQ community.  Moreover, trendy buzzwords like “inclusiveness” and “diversity” readily roll off her tongue as easily as the average voter orders a Big Mac and fries.

However, for all of his railing against the shackles of political correctness, and his carefully crafted persona of someone who is unconstrained by such limitations, Trump knows that the Orthodoxy of Conservative Political Correctness is just as rigid, and he toes the line and assiduously adheres to the officially sanctioned phraseology and terminology  on touchstone slogans such as the “Second Amendment”/”gun rights,” “Law & Order,” “Support for Vets” (though not necessarily their families), Middle Class, Working Class, and, of course “Radical Islam.”  Clinton may be overconfident in this category, and Trump definitely has an opportunity to pick up some points.

The Trump camp is clearly right about one thing – the debate format is pretty worn out, and another competition could be much more interesting and enlightening, now that the campaign has moved on to the mano a womano knockout stage.  Stay tuned for more developments on this front.