Donald Trump has held off-the-record and on-the record meetings with top newspapers in the country in an effort to show that he is a substantive candidate, not just one who mouths empty phrases at riled up crowds out on the campaign trail.  He recently sat down with The Los Angeles Star for a similar interview, and we are releasing the transcript:

Star: How do you react to those who say you are fomenting violence at your rallies?

Trump:  A lot of it is just a misunderstanding.  A protester interrupted me at a recent rally, and after trying to talk over the disruptive individual, I grew a little frustrated and yelled, “Muzzle’em!”  The crowd misunderstood, and thought I’d said “Muslim,” so they immediately set upon this lone wolf and began to pummel him.  Now I don’t condone violence, but that guy had it coming to him, and I’m gonna pay the legal bills of anyone who is arrested or sued for participating in this reasonable attempt to restore my free speech rights.

Star: Why is that necessary?

Trump: Because he was violating my rights — my First Amendment rights!

Star: You do understand that the First Amendment protects you from governmental interference with free speech, don’t you?  It has nothing to do with whether a private individual tries to interrupt or disrupt you.

Trump: Well, these protestors — they’re all sent out by Sanders, and he is in the government, so it’s at least quasi-governmental, don’t you think?

Star:  Not really.

Trump: And he wants to be President — you can’t get more governmental than that!

Star:  That sounds as implausible as you saying you always felt like you were in the military because you went to a “military” academy.  But if running for President makes you the government, then you would also be the government — and subject to all of the restrictions on the government, in procurement, hiring, etc. for all of your construction companies.

Trump:  OK, so maybe he’s not the government.  I’m certainly not the government and I’m not even a professional politician.  But these protesters- they’re professional agitators.  Why do you thing they’re called protestors?  Because they’re pros, that’s why!

Star:  It seems you always try to blame it on some aspect of the protestor, calling them pros, or possible terrorists, or implying they are Muslims, rather than addressing the issues they raise.  So what is it with you and the Muslims, anyway?

Trump:   I’ve talked before about the need to turn away Muslims at our borders, But we’ve got to recognize that we have a serious problem — a very serious problem — with Muslims who are already in this country, as evidence by this latest outburst.  We need to keep track of’em and keep an eye on’em, to make sure they aren’t up to any terrorist activities –or as my buddy, the great Sarah Palin says, “gettin’ all terroristy.”

Star: What about Muslims that are American citizens?

Trump:  Now here’s an idea.  Here’s an idea, and I just thought of this.  I think this is great.  In order to identify them and allow everyone to keep an eye on’em, I think we should make’em wear a yellow Star of David on their outermost garment.  A BIG, BRIGHT STAR of DAVID.  That will be so easy to spot, so easy.  Anyone can see it a mile away.  And everyone will know to keep an eye on them, so they won’t try something sneaky.

Star:  That seems inappropriate.

Trump:  And they’ll also hate having to wear the Jewish symbol, so it will be a double whammy.  It will humiliate them and make them stand out in a crowd.  It’s sorta like the bullet dipped in pigs’ blood — but we’re not killing anyone.  We’re not talking about loading special bullets in our guns –although we do love our guns and our Second Amendment.   See how reasonable and moderate I’m being  presidential!   We’re not killing them . . . yet.  We’re just keeping an eye on them.

Star: That sounds a lot like Hitler

Trump:  Hitler was a great leader.  He was.  He went off the deep end about the Jews, but he knew how to motivate and inspire a big country.  Not like our current American leaders.

Star: Wait a minute — you’re saying that Hitler was a better leader than Obama?

 Trump: No, I’m saying that Hitler had leadership qualities that Obama is severely lacking.  Seriously lacking.  He’s abysmal.

Star:  Obama or Hitler?

Trump:  Obama.  But remember, I said Hitler went off the rails with the Jews.  I do not agree with how he treated the Jews.  I repudiate that.  I repudiate it.  We love the Jews — And speaking of the Jews — didja ever notice how Ted Cruz hates Jews but loves Israel?  How do you figure that one out ?  He hates my quote unquote New York values — which, I’m told, some people equate to Jewish values — but he acts like he’s the biggest friend Israel has ever had.  He was so obsequious when he spoke to AIPEC, the Israeli surrogate in the U.S., that I thought he was going to rename his campaign, ‘Panderer’s Box.’  And once that’s opened, you don’t want to be around, I guarantee you. You Cruz, you lose!

Star:  You have said that you’re not Hitleresque, but don’t you think it’s Hitleresque to scapegoat specific groups for economic woes of the masses.  Jews for him.  Mexicans for you.

Trump: So you’re saying Jews are the new Mexicans?   I don’t know if there are many Jews in New Mexico.  I doubt it.  There could be, but I doubt it.

Star:  You have run a very unusual campaign, in that you have picked fights with apparent allies like the media, and even your own party.

Trump: Everyone is treating me badly — the media, especially.

Star:  What has the media done to you that’s unfair?

Trump:  I have huge crowds, massive crowds, far bigger than anyone else, but the media never reports this.  They never say how big a turnout we got.  Much better than Bernie Sanders, whose crowds they always over-estimate — and they’re still smaller than mine!  Mine are the biggest crowds in the history of campaigning.

Star:  Why do you think the media doesn’t report on the size of your crowds?

Trump:  Because it scares them.

Star:  How could it scare them?  You are a creation of the media.

Trump:  The media likes to build people up only to tear them down.  That’s why I have the strongest unfavorables in history.  It’s unprecedented.  No one has ever had bigger unfavorables than me.

Star:  You say that as if it’s a good thing.

Trump:   Well, at least people aren’t ignoring me, like Jeb! Bush.  That would be the worst!

Star:  Who else is treating you badly?

Trump:  The RNC — they’re not showing me any respect.

Star: How do you expect to restore respect for America in the world when you can’t even get your own party to treat you well?

Trump: I have the best people.  I hire the brightest people and they work for me, and they get the job done.  They did it for The Trump Organization, and they’ll do it for America.

Star: If you hire the best people, then why did you get your clock cleaned by Ted Cruz in locking up delegates in Colorado and Louisiana?

Trump: That wasn’t fair.  I’ll sue.

Star: Because your best people didn’t know the rules?

Trump: Because the rules don’t make any sense!

Star: Do you find it ironic at all that the candidate who says he is going to restore America to greatness and restore respect and strength to the Presidency is the one who is viewed as a laughingstock overseas?

Trump: No, the word irony is not in my vocabulary — it’s just not.  And speaking of vocabulary, I read the other day that some professor said that I spoke to my crowds using the vocabulary of a 5th grader — a fifth grader!  Well here’s a phrase that is beyond a fifth grader — testicular fortitude.

Star:  Do you mean intestinal fortitude?

Trump:  No, testicular fortitude.  This is a phrase that resonates with mankind.  I have it, and it’s what is going to lead us to greatness.  Is that erudite enough for you?  I happen to be a very, very bright person.  Very bright.  If I were talking like a fifth grader, I’d just say that I’ve got big balls, but I didn’t.  I said testicular fortitude.

Star:  Your response to everything seems to be to threaten to sue or make fun of your enemies or perceived enemies — just like a fifth grader.  You even feel threatened by a reporter approaching you with a pen.   How do you think that will restore respect around the world?

Trump:  We’re going to make America great again.

Star:  President Obama was heavily criticized by the Right for acting like America has not always been great, but you are lauded by the same people for saying America already isn’t great!??  How do you explain that?

Trump: If  Obama says it, it’s wrong.  If I say it, it’s insightful.  That’s pretty simple.  Even those of you in the media should be able to understand that.

Star:  But what about the substantive issue — is America great or not?

Trump:   America was great before Obama took office.

Star:  Really?  The economy was in shambles, jobs were slashed, and we were fighting two wars that were no longer going well.

Trump:  And what has Obama done –He passed Obamacare, which has cost us tens of thousands of jobs.

Star:  But we have hundreds of thousands more jobs than when Obama took office.

Trump:  We’re losing.  We’re losing every day.  And Americans are sick of it.  We’re tired of it.  We’re sick and tired of losing.  We need to start winning again, and we will always win when I am elected President.   We need an Arc d’ Trump in our capital, just like France, and I’m just the guy to build it!

Star:  How is making fun of people and threatening to sue going to restore America to greatness?

Trump:  Well, you have to admit, that insulting people and suing them can be pretty grating, so we will make America grate again.  Then we’ll be respected around the world.  They may not like it, but they will respect us.

Star:  By threatening to sue?  How would you sue another country?  In the World Court?  I bet you don’t even think they should have jurisdiction.

Trump:  You’re right about that.  We would never submit to their jurisdiction.  We will never submit when I am President.  As President, I will talk to companies and make them bring their factories back to the U.S. and restore those manufacturing jobs here.

Star:  But The Trump Organization has lots of divisions with jobs overseas, such as Ivanka’s clothing and accessory lines for instance.

Trump: Yeah, but we’re spinning  them off, so they don’t have to be counted in The Trump Organization statistics any more.

Star:  But how can you say you’ll influence other companies to bring the manufacturing jobs back when you can’t even influence your own daughter?

Trump: Anyone who has a daughter knows that the influence you have is very, very limited.  I couldn’t even convince her to register Republican so she could vote for me in the New York primary!

Star:  And even your own ties and other clothes are made in China.

Trump: Taiwan, Thailand, ties, ties, ties!  I don’t care where they’re made — they’re great ties!  100% silk.  Fabulous, fabulous ties.  All silk.  Where else are you going to make silk ties but in China?  They have the famous Silk Road.  They have great infrastructure.  They have silk roads and ours are crumbling.  And, of course, they have a Great Wall — a great, great wall.  And when I am president, we will have a great wall too, and then we will be great again.

Star:  Isn’t it hypocritical to criticize other companies for shipping jobs overseas to Mexico and China while your own company does the exact same thing?

Trump: And I’m just taking advantage of the laws as they are on the books today.

Star:  Just like bankruptcy.

Trump: Exactly!  But when I become president, we’re gonna change those laws to make it unattractive for people like me to manufacture products overseas.

Star:  You and Bernie Sanders seem to be tapping into the same vein of resentment running through a class of American workers that they have been getting screwed by bad trade deals, by crony capitalism, and a rigged system.

Trump:  That’s true, but we differ on how to solve the problems.  Sanders is a socialist.  Now, I’m very sociable.  I like to socialize with people.  And I used to go out with socialites.  I even tell some social lies.  But I’m not now and never have been a socialist!

Star:  What are you?

Trump:  I’m a capitalist.  I love capital.  And I want to work in the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C.

Star:  After every outrageous incident or statement, pollsters and pundits count you out.  Each time they say this latest episode will knock you out of the race, but it doesn’t seem to affect your supporters at all.  You always rebound.

Trump:  That’s because I have a trumpoline — it helps you bounce back.  You can bounce back from a defeat.  Bounce back in the polls.  It can do it al!

Star:  Let’s look ahead — fast forward to a year from now.

Trump:  Right, I’m in the Oval Office.

Star:  Well, maybe.  But what happens if you’re not?

Trump:  Well, first of all, I don’t need the job — don’t need it.  Unlike others, it hasn’t been my life’s ambition to be President.  I run a very, very successful company — very successful!  We have employed thousands and thousands of people.

Star:  And could you go back to that, and be satisfied, no longer having rallies of tens of thousands of people cheering and applauding you?

Trump:  I get tremendous satisfaction running a very successful company.  And I’d also like to expand our scope.

Star:  What are some areas you would like to get into?

Trump:  I’ve got some new business ideas I thought of as I traveled around the country, talking to folks, seeing what they want.  Everyone wants to be associated with the Trump name and all it implies — class, luxury, indulgence.  But not everyone can afford it.  Now that I’m a man of the people, not just the elites, I’ve got to bring my brand to the working man.

Star:  How will you do that?

Trump:  The first way is with my new, designer-engineered TrumpPets.  Everybody loves pets.  Dogs, cats, rabbits.  We will use modern DNA sampling and breeding techniques to produce the best animals on the planet.

Star:  And your second idea?

Trump: We’ll provide sTrumpets – high class escorts.  Very, very high class.  The best. Very classy.  From behind the Iron Curtain.  They’re like forbidden fruit .  Everybody wants an Eastern European woman.  I know I do! Now everyone can have one.

Star: That seems a far cry from politics.

Trump:  Not really.  Just ask Elliot Spitzer or David Vitter.  And when you think about it, escorts are a lot like typical politicians — you pay them enough and they’ll make you feel good and give you what you want

Star: Well, that will have to be the last word.  Thank you for your time.