Whether named for Sir Edmund Hillary, the first westerner to climb to the top of Mt. Everest, or not, Hillary Clinton has certainly experienced how difficult and frustrating it can be to attempt to reach the summit of one’s expectations (though some may think of her as more of a Whitewater rafting type).

And like her alleged namesake, she clearly has had a lot of help in achieving success, but seems quite content to bask in the public glory alone, without giving due credit to the hard-working team behind her.  She denies, of course that she thrives in (or creates) a cold and bitter environment.  “Not only am I a warm person, but contrary to my public image, I am actually very funny.  After all, you can’t spell ‘hilarity’ without “Hillary” . . . sort of.”

Like others who have climbed Mt. Everest in recent years, the road to the summit in a presidential race is littered with the bodies of those who have fallen by the wayside  in the long and difficult campaign, including allies who outlived their usefulness, and opponents and potential opponents who failed, leaving only a handful left to finish the race.

One body Clinton would clearly savor stepping on or over along the way, is Bernie Sanders’.   She clearly does not “Feel the Bern” from having to run so hard in this race.  Instead, she deeply resents the fact that Sanders is actually giving her a run for money and not ceding victory to her gracefully.

“Look, I don’t agree with the Republicans on much, but historically, they have been much better at rewarding a faithful party member whose time has come to be the standard bearer.  John McCain, Bob Dole, even Ronald Reagan — they paid their dues and received their due reward.  Of course, Sanders may know nothing of this history, since he has not been a member of a major party for very long.  He is not a real Democrat.   He’s more of a socialist or independent, but  I guess he did not think he had much of a chance at the presidency running as a socialist.

“In the Senate, he refused to be called a Democrat, but deigned to ‘caucus‘ with us.    I thought he just meant meeting with us on legislative strategy –I had no idea he was really talking about Iowa, Nevada, Colorado, and the other caucus states along the road to the Democratic presidential nomination.  I should have been told this, so I could have planned on demolishing him sooner.  Someone’s head is going to roll for that oversight.

“In any event, Sanders is certainly a latecomer to being a Democrat — sort of an immigrant to the Democratic Party, if you will — and that’s one illegal immigrant I’d like to deport!

“Now, this year, Jeb! Bush thought it was his turn –but he made one fateful mistake.  He thought the presidency was his birthright.  That’s simply not correct.   We do not have a royal family in the United States.  It may have worked for his brother, and for John Quincy Adams, but the Presidency does not follow a bloodline.  You are not born into it.  No sir — in this country, you marry into it!

And let me tell you, I did not stand by a lyin’, cheatin’ scumbag and watch my name be dragged into the mud over his peccadilloes, not mine, without getting something out of it!  I struck a deal with Bill Clinton to stick by him, and in return, he had to help me get elected Senator and then President!

“He came through on the Senator front, but sort of fell apart in 2008, when I was supposed to win the presidency, but a freshman senator — who had only been there for two years —two freakin’ years –came out of nowhere, made a few rousing speeches, and rode them to victory.  I have to wonder about Bill’s commitment to making me president this time around. . . He’s the one who said it would be ‘a really good idea’ to set up our own email server in our house while I was at the State Department.’

“Regardless of that, I’m not going to be Baracked again.  No hippie socialist is going to take the nomination away from me this time.”

And yet, Sanders simply won’t go away.  And after Wisconsin, it seems he actually has a chance to win in Clinton’s adopted home state of New York.  Clinton can’t figure out why, and it really frosts her:

“Sanders sounds more like a New Yorker than I do — and I’ve been a Senator from New York, whereas he’s been living in Vermont and Washington for like 70 years.  ‘C’mon, lose the accent already, buddy! ‘ Who does he think he is — Henry Kissinger?  It’s almost like he’s been preserving that accident just for this — the New York primary.  Well, I’ll tell you something, nobody’s going to come into my home state and beat me!

“Now some people may say New York is not really my home state, since I grew up in Illinois and was first Lady of Arkansas, but goddammit, I represented New York as a Senator for 8 years.  And carpet-bagging for a New York Senate seat is in the best tradition of Democrats like Robert Kennedy.

“People say I’m not a real New Yorker, but how about this:

“I interrupt Sanders during a debate, and he says, ‘Excuse me, I’m talking’ — and I had my people complain that he’s being dismissive and disrespectful —that’s a New Yorker!

“I strongly imply that he’s not qualified to be president, and then he comes out and says that I’m not qualified — and I have my campaign aides say he has reached a new low in campaign accusations — that’s a New Yorker!

“So, I’m clearly a New Yorker, and as a true New Yorker, I think Bernie Sanders should drop out already.   He keeps beating me in primaries and caucuses, but he should definitely exit the race before he embarrasses himself by beating me again, this time on my own (adopted) home turf!  How’s that for chutzpah?!    New Yorkers love chutzpah!”