Nearly 62 years ago, 8-year-old Donnie Trump was caught nabbing cookies from the cookie jar by his mother:

“Donnie, did you take any cookies from the cookie jar?”

“It nevah happened — we don’t even have a cookie jar!”

“Donnie, the cookie jar is right over there, on the counter.  I can see it from here. So can you.”

“You’re delusional.  I’m not even aware of a cookie jar ever being there!”

“Here, take my hand.  I’ll show you.  You can even touch it, you Doubting Donald.”

“Alright, alright.  Maybe we do have a cookie jar — but there weren’t any cookies in it!”

“How do you know that, if you didn’t even think we had a cookie jar?”

“You can’t prove that there were any.  You have to prove it to me.  It’s my 5th Amendment right!  I know my rights!”

“Well, dear, there are cookie crumbs all around your mouth.”

(Wipes mouth)  “No, there aren’t.  And anyway, that proves nothing.”

“Well, it proves you had cookies.”

“No it doesn’t! Maybe Elizabeth took the cookies and ate them and then gave me a kiss –Eewwh!”

“Do you really think that’s what happened, Donnie?”

Fast-forward to 2015.  Donald Trump’s consistent approach to controversy and accusations is memorialized and provided to all members of the Trump 2016 Team in the form of the following memorandum:

From: The Top

To: All Staff

Subject:  Decision Tree on How to Deal with All Accusations Leveled against DJT, Campaign Officials or Supporters

1. I/we didn’t do it/[Victim] is crazy;
2. Maybe we did it but, it wasn’t as bad as [Victim] claimed. He or she started it/deserved it/instigated it/is planted by the opponents/may be violent/may be a terrorist –who knows?
3. My rights have been violated. I’ll press charges/sue/not show up for my commitments/pay the legal fees for my staff/supporters.
4. The press is treating me unfairly over this/why is this still a story?/no one in the history of the world has been under such scrutiny as me/You wouldn’t even report anything if this happened to Lyin’ Ted/Sanders/Hillary.